


as we run towards the end of the dream

by tuesdead



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Breaking Up & Making Up, Established Relationship, F/M, Female Uzumaki Naruto, Forgiveness, Heartbreak, Mentions of Grooming, Post-War, Teacher-Student Relationship, Unplanned Pregnancy, sorta - Freeform, there is no actual grooming, they're in love i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:27:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29972532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuesdead/pseuds/tuesdead
Summary: Two days before the third anniversary of their relationship, Kakashi breaks Naruto's heart and leaves the village on a long-term mission. He's gone, and Naruto is left to pick up the pieces.But everything is not as it seems...
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 9
Kudos: 107





	as we run towards the end of the dream

**Author's Note:**

> another little fic that's been hanging around in my drafts.
> 
> not proofread. title from _the end of the dream_ by evanescence :)

[Naruto]

_I can’t believe he really left me. I can’t believe he… Maa, don’t be a fool, Naruto. Everybody leaves you._

But she really thought…

_Well, fine then. It’s just me and you, pup. And we don’t… We don’t need him. Right?_

In two days, it would have been the three year anniversary of their first date. A relationship that began when Naruto _finally_ turned sixteen, a relationship built on trust and respect. A relationship that she was so _sure_ was real.

So much of her life had been built on a web of half-truths and secrets, but with him, she finally felt like she was precious to somebody. It was freeing, a sense of fulfillment and happiness that she had never really known.

_And now he’s gone._

Naruto never imagined she’d fall in love, let alone with somebody almost twice her age, and especially not _him_. When she was still a brat, he’d given her a very important lesson, but outside of that, he hadn’t actively taken part in her daily life; he’d always been pretty reluctant for any sort of one-on-one time. Hell, sometimes, it seemed like he went out of his way to avoid her.

_It can’t be… Was it all some cruel trick of his?_ Has he planned from the beginning to fill her heart with love and then crush it? What reason would he have to up and leave her out of the blue?

_And what about you, pup? He never even gave me the chance to tell him that we… that he…_

/

_“I’m leaving… Naruto.” His eyes are cold and shuttered. For the first time in years, Naruto can’t read his heart. “I don’t know when I’ll be back.”_

_Her stomach rolls, heart in her throat. Her eyes burn from the effort it takes to hold back her tears. “Stop this, why are you-”_

_“It’s time we stop pretending.” The words are sharper than kunai. “How long can this go on? Naruto…” For just a moment, she swears she hears his breath catch, but his voice is steady when he goes on. “We should have known from the start we couldn’t continue this.”_

_Her own voice is noticeably shaky, noticeably distraught. “But I love-”_

_“Enough!” He swings around to face her, hand cutting through the air in front of him. “You can’t. What can we know of that, anyway? I’m leaving,” he repeats. “Don’t wait for me.”_

Naruto growls, throwing the scroll she’d been trying to read at the wall and shoving herself away from the table in her kitchen. “Worthless… It’s all worthless if I can’t even hold onto...”

_Dammit._

Three months. It’s been three months since he left, three months since he broke her heart, three long months of wondering where she went wrong, if she could have stopped him, if he would have stayed if only she’d been _better_.

Naruto has done her best to stay busy, to distract herself from the pain, but heartbreak isn’t so easily ignored. She should know, her heart has been broken over and over again since she was still a little kid.

None of it makes sense. Sure, before he left, it seemed like Tsunade was giving him more and more missions, but he always came home to her. He had stopped hiding his heart from her so long ago, and that night…

To be so closed off, something must have really shaken him. It’s all she can think of..., but then why couldn’t he just tell her about it? She thought they’d reached a point where they could confide in each other, that they weren’t keeping secrets from each other.

_I don’t understand, Kakashi._

/

She hasn’t been sleeping well since he left. That night, she’d pursued him to the gates as he left, but he’d been silent, he wouldn’t even look at her. Even when she caught up to him, wrapping her arms around him for what her mind was telling her may very well be the last time, her cheek pressed to his shoulder blade, he was only stiff in her embrace. Taut like a rubber band just before it breaks.

“Oi, Naruto! You’ve been avoiding everybody for ages, what’s up with you?” Sakura glares at her, cracking her knuckles. Naruto’s arms instinctively come up to guard the hidden swell of her stomach.

But then her friend stops, expression going blank. “Wait a minute…” A light practically turns on above her head. “Are you- No way!”

_I guess somebody finally figured it out, pup._

“Oh, it’s perfect timing and everything!” Sakura grins at her, hands clasped together over her chest, but then her face falls. “I’m so happy for you, but… Well, it’s just… you’ve been a little down lately.”

It’s hard to look Sakura in the face and keep her in the dark. But everybody knows Naruto isn’t a great liar. It was easier when she had somebody waiting at home for her, a reason to keep her mouth shut.

But how can she start sharing her pain now? Four months have passed. She hasn’t received a single word from him, not a single thing. _Have you already moved on from me, Kakashi? Are you happier now?_

_Are you miserable like me?_

“Ah… Wait, what was that about the timing?”

Sakura frowns at her, eyes doing that squinty thing she does when she knows something’s up. Still, she doesn’t press for anything. “Well, I’m going to get answers from you later. And you’re getting a full medical check-up as soon as possible. But, Godaime-sama sent me to fill you in. You’ve been pretty solitary lately, so you probably didn’t notice, but it’s time for a new batch of genin and Tsunade-sama wants you to take on a team!”

_Huh. I guess it is pretty good timing. Sensible D-ranks, I get to practice some subtle parenting on fresh academy brats, and maybe it will take my mind off of him._

She doesn’t notice when Sakura links their arms or starts directing Naruto toward the hospital, not until they’re almost to the front doors. It’s all too easy to get lost in memories of him, peaceful moments between them that feel so far away now.

_Will you ever come back to me? Explain yourself?_

_Are you going to keep me in the dark forever, Kakashi?_

_What will you do when you come home and see our child?_

/

“So,” Sakura begins while she takes Naruto’s blood pressure, “does anybody else know about this?”

A bitter laugh falls from her mouth before she can stop it. “No… Three days before I was going to tell the baby’s father, he left me. We were together for almost three years.” She feels like the air is being squeezed out of her lungs; it’s like there’s a hole in her chest where her heart used to be. It’s been punched out of her chest, physically squeezed to keep her alive even, but this is _different_. “And now it’s like I’m constantly half a step away from some cliff, like I’m dangling over an endless pit.”

Now that she’s completely disturbed the atmosphere of the exam room, she feels even worse.

“You know,” Sakura says, “these negative emotions are valid and understandable. It’s outrageous that anybody would do that, and if I ever meet this man, he’s going to eat my fist; however, the stress isn’t good for the baby. So, it’s best if you try and focus on the positives, and turn your darker emotions into some sort of progress.”

_We can do it, right pup? I know we miss him, but I’m so excited to meet you…_

The rest of the check-up goes well, all things considered. Sakura tells Naruto that she’s carrying a healthy baby girl and that if she continues getting all the right nutrients, plenty of light exercise, and if she starts sleeping better, her pregnancy should be a smooth ride.

“You will, of course, experience some discomforts, like the cravings and the morning sickness. By the way, that name is misleading. Morning sickness and nausea in general will affect you multiple times throughout your day, but I’m sure you’re already aware of that because you’re four months in.”

Naruto shrugs. “I haven’t experienced a lot of that, actually. But my eating habits over the last few years have improved a lot, so I guess my kid is pleased with my diet.”

Sakura just gives her an indulgent smile and follows her out of the exam room. “By the way, you meet your new genin in two days.”

/

Naruto doesn’t fully understand why, but she shows up two hours late to pick up her team. Is it nostalgia? Is she just being petty? She promised herself a long time ago that if she ever had students, she’d do her best to listen to their needs and respect each of them as individuals. She loves Kakashi, but he was still too damaged to recognize his students as individual people and not remnants of his former teammates long dead. She had needed a firmer hand, Sasuke had needed therapy, and Sakura… Sakura had needed Tsunade.

On the bright side, her three little genin are not dutifully ignoring each other, nor are they arguing with each other. They’re bent over a book, their little faces screwed up in concentration. They’re so distracted, in fact, that they don’t even hear her come in.

“Squad Seven.”

Two boys and one girl leap to their feet, wide eyes staring her in the face. “Are you our sensei?” the girl finally asks when the silence has gotten awkward.

“I am.”

One of the boys, the shortest of the three of them, points a finger at her. “You made us wait an extra two hours!”

It’s so reminiscent of her own genin days that Naruto cracks a grin. It feels like she hasn’t smiled in ages. “Well, you see, there was a kitten stuck in a tree and I--”

“Ne, ne, aren’t you the girl who saved the world?”

_The girl who saved the world, huh?_

“Is that what people say about me?” Naruto hums. “Well, how about you guys meet me on the roof in five minutes so that we can get properly acquainted?”

The academy graduates spill through the door with red faces. The shortest hunches over with his hands on his knees, panting for breath. “No fair… you guys… have longer... legs… than me.” His teammates are breathless, too, but not quite as winded as he is. He’s shorter and stouter, though, so it’s reasonable that he’d be a little more winded.

Still, he hadn’t fallen behind, so Naruto isn’t worried. _If we build up his stamina and turn some of that mass into muscle, he’ll make a sturdy chunin, at least._ She crosses her ankles, waving them over. “Okay, Squad Seven. Please introduce yourselves to me.”

The taller boy raises his hand, shoulders automatically slouching once he’s seated. “What are we supposed to say?”

Naruto typically sticks with what she knows, so the words start coming without much thought. “Well, start with your names, your likes and dislikes, what your dream is, and if you have any hobbies. Why don’t you go first?”

“My name is Tsuji Ren.” He shrugs. “I like to read. I don’t like bugs… My dream is to travel. And… I collect plants?”

The girl, sitting in the center, drapes her arm over Ren’s shoulders. “I’m Tsuji Riko! I really like flowers. I _don’t_ like how pruny your hands get when you fall asleep in the bath. My dream is to annoy my big brother until he stops being so lazy.” At this, she puts Ren in a headlock. “And my hobby is climbing trees!”

The third member of their team jumps to his feet. “My name is Iha Akira and I like to draw! I dislike fighting unless it’s for something very important. My dream is to become a teacher! And I don’t think I have any hobbies…”

_Twins on the same team? I haven’t heard of that since the Hyuuga twins, but they were doomed from the start with a father like that…_

“Alright! I’m Uzumaki Naruto, ‘ttebayo! I like ramen and my friends! I don’t like bullies and hypocrites. My dream is to protect my precious people, bring peace to the shinobi world, and maybe one day become Hokage. And my hobbies are training and writing books.” She indulges Akira when he raises his hand. “Akira-kun?”

“Ne, Naruto-sensei… Why is your stomach so round?”

Before she can respond, Riko pushes her sleeves up and punches him in the gut. “You don’t just ask a girl why her stomach’s round!”

The laughter escapes her before she can reign it in and she nearly falls off the railing. Do genin ever really change? Already, she’s seeing her own team in these three, although Ren reminds her a little more of Shikamaru than Sasuke.

“That’s alright, Riko-chan, I’m not offended.” She smiles at them, and it’s only a little forced. “My belly’s round because I’m expecting a baby. Outside of my friend Sakura, you three are the first to know.”

Three sets of wide eyes stare at her for the second time in twenty minutes.

“You’re still on active duty?”

Naruto hums. “Well, I haven’t actually been taking many missions lately, for a few reasons, but you guys won’t be getting anything except D-ranks for a decent chunk of time, and that’s only if you pass my test in the morning.” _I wonder if I still have those bells somewhere…_ “Even though you’ve passed the academy exam, if you don’t pass my test tomorrow, or I’m not satisfied with your performance as academy graduates, you will return to the academy. I’d like for you three to meet me at training ground seven at eight o’clock. Don’t eat anything heavy before you come, make sure your bladders are empty, and dress for a workout. Do you understand?”

“Hai!”

/

Naruto leans back against the door, heart in her throat. She hasn’t been here since the day he left.

Kakashi’s apartment is covered in a thin layer of dust, but otherwise undisturbed. He hadn’t asked for her key, and she still hasn’t had the heart to take it off of her keyring. After trying to find the set of bells in her own apartment (even though she already knew she wouldn’t), Naruto had reluctantly walked herself across the village to Kakashi’s apartment. She’d taken her good old time, too, because being in this place that's filled with three years of memories makes her chest ache.

There’s nobody around to watch her slide down the wall to the floor, her hands resting against her belly in the hopes of finding comfort in the knowledge that even if she doesn’t have him, there’s a part of him with her, always.

She almost doesn’t hear the clicking of toenails across the apartment floor. It’s only because the home is so quiet that she notices Pakkun before she sees him. He pauses in the doorway, sad eyes landing on her. “What are you doing here?”

Her heart seems to twist painfully in her chest, jamming her words in her throat for a moment. “I just need to grab something.”

There’s a beat, and then another, and then Pakkun sighs. “So, you still love him?”

“What, he thinks he can just make me stop loving him by fleeing the village and breaking my heart? Like I can just get over him, like he’s some fleeting thought?” She sniffs. “Asshole.”

Pakkun huffs. “I don’t know what he’s thinking. Even if he wasn’t undercover, he probably wouldn’t tell us.”

_Asshole._

Naruto pushes herself up, her feet silent on Kakashi’s bare floor. She knows where to find the bells, a cherished memory for both of them, so she’s in and out of the bedroom quickly. Pakkun hasn’t moved.

“There’s a pup?” he asks softly, sadly. Amazedly.

She hums. “Something he would have known if he’d only stuck around a couple more days.” _If he hadn’t given up on us. On me._

Pakkun’s toenails click against the floor as he steps up to her side. His voice is gruffer than normal when he speaks again. “I think he misses you.” He hesitates. “Maybe there’s more to this than a break-up.”

_I’ve been wondering the same thing._ “He shut me out, Pakkun. He was cold and sharp. He hid his heart from me.” She meets his eyes. “If he really just stopped loving me, he wouldn’t have had to hide his heart, right?”

The ninken growls in agreement. Before she leaves, he vows to do some of his own investigating.

/

Things get easier. Being able to focus on team building and simple missions lets Naruto’s mind ease little by little, and before she knows it, she’s almost ten months along and on her way to the hospital because her little miracle is on the way without much of a warning. Her water must have broken without her knowing, because she was training the genin in elemental jutsu when her back suddenly started aching, and Riko had said something along the lines of “If your back hurts, you should probably make sure your baby isn’t trying to climb out already.”

As it turns out, her baby is trying to climb out. That is, she’s been in labor for Kami knows how long, and she probably should have come to the hospital sooner, but at least she’s here now and she finally, _finally_ gets to meet their pup.

Naruto knows she’s being petty, but the only person who could have assigned a long-term mission to Kakashi is Tsunade-baa-chan, so she’s been avoiding the woman ever since. She hadn’t even realized she was doing it at first.

And Sakura had promised not to tell anybody about Naruto’s pregnancy; she hasn’t seen any of their other friends, and her genin aren’t exceedingly social with their classmates, so outside of herself, Sakura, her genin, and Pakkun, there isn’t anybody who knows.

When she has to show her face around the village, Naruto has taken to wearing a light henge. She just feels safer keeping it to herself.

She should have realized she couldn’t keep her child a secret forever.

/

_Little Yuki…_

Naruto holds her baby to her chest, thinking of her friend Haku and his terrible fate. She thinks Kakashi wouldn’t mind naming their daughter in memory of the boy with a gentle heart who only wanted to protect the person who saved him.

“A part of me hopes you choose a quiet life, pup.” The infant is sound asleep in her arms, her daughter who’d been so red and wiggly and tiny, who’s the most beautiful child she’s ever seen.

She has her father’s hair. There isn’t much of it, yet, but the color is all Kakashi. Naruto wonders whether her daughter will prefer long hair, or if she’ll keep it short. Will her eyes stay baby blue like Naruto’s, or will they turn dark like her dad’s?

_I’ll protect you with every fibre of my being, with every breath in my lungs._

When Naruto glances out the window, snow is falling from the sky.

_In April?_

_Will you watch over her, Haku?_

The door to her recovery room slides open and Tsunade steps inside with a stern look on her face, a look that melts almost immediately when she lays eyes on Naruto’s child. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?”

Naruto presses a kiss to her daughter’s cheek. “No. Baa-chan, this is Yuki-chan.” She has birthmarks just like Naruto, though there are only two on either cheek. She wonders if it’s normal for the jinchuriki to have children with peculiar birthmarks, or if it’s just a Kurama thing.

“She’s beautiful,” Tsunade whispers, sinking into one of the chairs pushed up against the wall. Silence settles over them, but Naruto’s too focused on Yuki to decide whether or not it’s a comfortable one.

“Is Kakashi her father?”

_Yuki-chan… I hope he comes home to meet you._

“Hai. I never got to tell him about her.” A teardrop lands on Yuki’s cheek, but Naruto is quick to wipe it away. “Do you think… he’d be happy?”

The Hokage curses, bowing her head. “Naruto… Please forgive me.” When Naruto looks closely, Tsunade’s hands are trembling, balled into fists. “I knew about your relationship. I forced Kakashi to leave you because I thought… Well, it doesn’t matter. You’re old enough to make your own decisions and I interfered. He had two choices and they both sucked.” She meets Naruto’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”

[Kakashi]

_“I know about your relationship with Naruto.” Tsunade glares, her gaze like ice. “What do you think you’re doing with a girl that young, Hatake?”_

_“Hokage-sama, I assure you-”_

_“Your word does not mean much in this instance, Kakashi. The girl grew up surrounded by hatred. How can you be sure she’s not with you out of fear that she’ll never find love anywhere else? How can you be sure her love for you is real, that you didn’t inadvertently groom the girl when she was still a child?” Kakashi’s heart seems to still in his chest; if he could see himself now, he’s sure he’d be paler than usual. And what if she’s right, what if it’s true? What should he do? “She’s too young.”_

_“Tsunade-sama, I would have never- How can you suggest that I would have_ groomed- _” He knows if he simply asked his lover about it, she’d be offended that the idea ever crossed his mind. But do the abused ever realize they’re being abused until it’s too late? Has he been abusing her? For how long?_

_“You have two choices. You can leave her now; I’ll put you on a mission that will take you out of the village for at least a year. If instead you tell her what we’ve discussed, I’ll label you a traitor of the leaf and you will be detained. If you resist, you’ll be labelled a rogue ninja.”_

_His stomach turns at the thought of leaving her, but he has no other choice. Kami, this is going to kill him. And yet, even if he dies from this, it’s worse knowing that he’s breaking her heart, too._

/

_‘Hatake. Abort mission. This is an order to urgently return to the village.’_

The letter nags at him, burning a hole in his pocket even though he’d destroyed it as is protocol. There are only so many things Tsunade would order him back for, and he sincerely doubts she’s had a change of heart.

(Not unless Naruto discovered her plot and chewed her out.)

(But how would Naruto have figured her out, when their discussion had been more private than Tsunade’s meetings with the council?)

(Naruto has strange luck.)

_But she won’t forgive me for this, why should she? I chose to break her heart._

Still, he heads for the village with haste, because he doubts Naruto changed Tsunade’s mind just like that. It must be some kind of emergency. _I swear, if something has happened to Naruto, I’ll become a rogue myself and strangle the woman on the spot._

Is the village under attack? Has Tsunade decided that she’s finished with the hat and she’s passing it on? Ah, but why would that be urgent enough to call Kakashi home? It must be something grave, right? Kakashi’s had enough of these heart-in-throat situations. Is thirty-three too early to retire? Can he become a paper ninja this early into life?

(Considering the average lifespan of regular shinobi, Kakashi’s practically an old man.)

Even though Tsunade’s done a number on him lately, seeing Konoha’s gates still brings a sense of relief to his chest. It’s still home. Even if he can’t be with her, the woman he loves is somewhere beyond those gates. He’s made it home in record time.

Urgent indeed.

Maybe, if he’s lucky, he’ll catch a glimpse of her.

“Ah, Hatake-san. Our orders are to send you to the hospital.” Izumo scratches his chin. “We weren’t expecting you for another two days, though. Wasn’t that summons sent out yesterday?”

_Yesterday morning. Kami, I need a shower._

“Well,” Kotetsu tacks on, “you could use a shower. Tracking up the hospital with that much dirt is probably a crime in Sakura-san’s mind.”

/

His apartment is dull and lifeless, caked in a thin layer of dust except for two sets of footprints. One is undoubtedly Pakkun’s, and the other, according to his nose, is Naruto’s. Her scent is more recent than he was expecting, but when he follows them, nothing seems out of place.

He’ll worry about that later, though. The gate chunin hadn’t sounded particularly worried, which means his urgent summons isn’t for a funeral. Plus, Kakashi really does need to take a shower.

Half of her belongings are still laying around, like she hasn’t ever really left, even though she obviously hasn’t been occupying his space. He wants nothing more than to track her down right this second and beg for forgiveness, beg for _anything_ . He forces himself to stay on task instead, because there’s a _reason_ Tsunade has summoned him home, and even though he wants to be angry with her, it’s only been ten months since she sent him away. He’d been sure she’d keep him out of the village for much longer than that.

“Tadaima,” he murmurs to the empty bedroom. But when he pulls open the top drawer of his dresser, the little black case that holds Sensei’s bells is gone. She has those, out of everything?

_Maybe…_

(Naruto understands the meaning of the bells, but when she’d returned them, after she learned about her parents, she insisted that he should keep them. So, what reason would she take them away but to punish him?)

(How is it a punishment if he’s not there to notice they’re gone?)

/

Barely thirty minutes have passed when Kakashi sets foot inside the hospital. He doesn’t make it far, of course, because Sakura appears in front of him and gathers his shirt in hand, a menacing look on her face.

_I think she might actually kill me._

“Sakura, enough! I’m the one who ordered his departure.”

Slowly, Sakura steps back. Her eyes are sad. He’s just relieved the lobby is empty but for the three of them. “I’m sorry, Kakashi-sensei. I didn’t realize.”

But his heart starts pounding, racing. If she’s attacking him for Naruto’s sake… And Tsunade’s the one clearing the air…

What happened to Naruto, is she injured? Comatose? Sakura knows about their relationship? Who told her? Had it been Naruto? What had she said about him?

“Kakashi.”

With his life in less danger from Sakura, Kakashi can properly focus on Tsunade. The woman looks… tired. Exhausted, actually, and very, very sad. She points. “You’ll want to go to the third floor, last door on the right.” Her voice is weak. “I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I made a mistake.”

_This is… starting to scare me. Why are they being so…?_

/

By the time he makes it to the door, Kakashi’s lungs feel too constricted to breathe, like somebody is physically squeezing the life out of him even though he knows it’s just his imagination. Surely this isn’t some sort of gag, some form of torture.

Would Tsunade be that cruel after everything she’s already done to him? To _them_?

The door slides open without a sound, revealing Naruto’s still form-

_She’s only sleeping._

When he clearly sees the rise and fall of her chest, the fear leaves him. She’s not hooked into any machinery, there are no signs that she’s injured. The relief is heady enough to send him to his knees, _she’s okay, she’s alright_.

It had been his biggest fear, that Tsunade was bringing him back to present him with the mangled remains of his dead lover.

“Thank goodness.”

But then, the question is, why is she in the hospital?

_Does it matter?_

Kakashi can’t bring himself to move, though. He’d spent a lot of his reserves just making it back to the village, and the relief that she’s okay is so heady he feels boneless.

_What will it take for her to forgive me?_

She shifts in her sleep, the soft sounds of rustling fabric bringing him even more peace. She’s breathing, there are no machines, and she can move on her own.

“Kakashi?”

Something warm rushes through him with her voice, but can he bring himself to look her in the face?

“Ne, Kakashi~, why are you on the floor?”

_Naruto, you…_

“They scared me,” he murmurs to the hard tile beneath his aching knees. “I got this urgent summons, and the gate chunin told me to come to the hospital, and Hokage-sama looked all repentant when she told me where to go…” His voice is rough and he doesn't try to hide it this time. “They made me think you were dying.”

A gentle hand lifts his chin, though he hadn’t heard her leave the bed. Naruto’s expression is warm, even if there are a few stray tears here and there. “Okaeri, Kakashi.”

His emotions break free like a river with a badly built dam, but he doesn’t try to stop them, only leans into her hand, starved for her touch. “Can you forgive me?”

A smile. Naruto slips his mask down and leans in, in, pressing the softest of kisses to his mouth. They share a sigh and Kakashi’s hands move on their own, pulling her closer, already taking note of every little change in the shape of her, the taste of her, the way she touches him.

Like he’s fragile.

Sometimes, he realizes, she knows him better than he knows himself. Had he noticed that he was shaking? Not at all. He’d been so caught up in her, in everything she is.

“You were forgiven the moment baa-chan told me what she had done.” She whispers the words against his throat, arms around his shoulders like she’s trying to hold him together.

“What changed?”

Naruto hums. “What do you smell?”

The question is odd, but not all that obscure. Kakashi uses his nose often.

“I smell… Naruto,” he answers promptly, then focuses on the other smells in the room. “There are carnations. Fresh linens. Cornstarch… Newb-”

Kakashi cuts himself off, unsure, but his nose is rarely wrong. _Rarely_ . Kakashi counts backward in his head, trying to remember if things had been _normal_ in the month before he left, if the timing was off just a bit, if _maybe…_ Can it be true? Are they…

“Are we...?”

_Did we…?_

Naruto pulls him to his feet, hands finding his as she leads him across the floor. There, just out of his line of sight where he’d been kneeling, is a standard hospital crib. And inside sleeps an infant with Naruto’s markings on her cheeks, silver hair atop her head. When he remembers to breathe, his lungs barely cooperate.

“I was going to tell you on our anniversary,” Naruto whispers. “That night, I was confused. You hid your heart from me, so how could I believe the words you were telling me?” She doesn't let go of him, though. “It isn’t your fault. When Tsunade-sama met Yuki-chan, she confessed her mistake to me. I hid my pregnancy from pretty much everybody. Sakura promised not to tell anyone, and my genin are the opposite of little gossips.”

_Genin._

“Ah, so that’s why you took the bells?” He watches his own shaky hand reach out, fingers trailing over his newborn’s forehead. “Her name is Yuki?”

Naruto nods, leaning into his side while pulling his arm around her shoulders. “It snowed on the day she was born. Just a little bit.” She tilts her chin up, catching his gaze. “I guess that’s Haku’s way of giving his blessing.”

He doesn’t know if he wants to cry or to kiss her or to pray, so he pulls her as close as he can and presses a kiss to her temple, running his thumb over their daughter’s squishy cheek. He’s so, _so_ in love with them. _I don’t deserve this_.

She wraps her arms around his middle, nuzzling into his chest with a soft sigh. “I’m so glad you’re home. I wanted to tell you so badly, and I was so afraid you wouldn’t… that you wouldn’t want her. But-”

Kakashi shushes her, ducking his head to kiss her--lightly, gently. “I love you,” he murmurs against her mouth. “And I love our pup.” His heart is so full he feels like he’ll break apart at the seams. “You’re both so precious to me.”

He thinks he’ll go through any pain as long as he can keep them in his life.

“Thank you for making me a father,” he adds, holding on for dear life. He doesn’t care what anybody says, they’ll have to kill him if they want to separate him from her. And he won’t make it easy.

_This really is more than I could have asked for._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! let me know what you think!


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